The 1/2/3-00 metre 'S-kid'

It was one fine evening in the famous CEPT university (famous for the canteen; more visitors to have the subsidized lunch and dinner than to see the works). As usual, i was walking along my exclusive corridor from the office to canteen for a much needed tea break. Little did i know, i will be entertained by another un 'believable' story. Light cool breeze, smell of rain still hung in the air and added to it was the flavor of tea. One could not ask for a better setting for a story.
Sitting under the tree, i joined a bunch of first yearites from the planning studio. Out of curiosity, I queried of ACP's whereabouts. It was as good as being in a quarry and hearing a hundred echos (Everyone was excited to let me on their latest story).

"ACP had an accident today". It was normal for me to hear that because he the frequency of he breaking a limb or a ligament was extremely high on a day to day basis. I was more interested in hearing the answers to 'how the incident happened'.

"ACP was on his 150 CC pulsar, on the way to gandhinagar for a meeting. So it seems that it was raining, and he was behind this S.T bus for about half an hour on the highway and the traffic was also pretty high"
(Oh! I felt for him, not because of the rain; but because he was behind that scrap of metal emitting high amount of black smoke into the air, and that too for 30 mins).
I couldnt help asking "And?? Go on...."

He continued, "Well it so seemed that at one point of time he throttled a 360 degree, overtook the bus and, 'it so seemed' that there was a bus in the other lane coming towards him. So he swerved in and had to put sudden breaks as he started to skid". He had a smug expression on his face as he completed his sentence.
I responded, "Well, thats normal considering that it was raining. And???"
All in the group were laughing at this point of time, and the suspense was killing me...!!
"And....????"

"Well, 'it so seems' that he and his bike skidded for 200 metres, and the bike wheels continued to revolve 200 times even after both of them came to a halt"
I was rather taken aback, not by what had happened but the number 200. "Are you sure??, 2oo". We all laughed and others chimed into the intriguing conversation. "We dont know that for sure, he had told me 150, and Smita here talked to him later on the phone and the number had climbed to 300". This seemed like bidding!
I asked them "And what happened to that rusty metal with 4 wheels which was behind him???"
The reply was as expected. "Eh...he said that it had dissapeared...."

In the process i sucked in the very last drop of tea from my cup and trudged back on my exclusive corridor.

Took my cellphone out, dialled ACP's number. He picked it after a few rings and the first few words were "Wadiiiii, accident ho gaya aaj".
I said , "yeah yeah...I heard all about it from Anush and the gang. How many dents??"
He sure didn't sound legible in the Hindi-Gujarati-English mixture pouting over a receding BSNL network. But i had heard the all important number "500 metres"....

The rest of the day i spent trying to imagine the half a kilometer skid on a 150 cc pulsar....
That would have been difficult for even the Wachowski brothers to replicate in a Matrix sequel.
For the rest of the day my friend 'Neo' had switched off his cell.
Life in CEPT would surely have been boring of it were not for my 'deer' friend ACP.

the deZiners/definers.....

Summer of 2000, and way into October now. We had already celebrated K's birthday followed by Gandhiji's Birthday on the very next day. Two more elite members of the 'Clue Clutz Clan' had their birthdays in the same month, Babu & ACP; practioners of 'non-violence' or 'ahimsa' as we call it. (P.S, if you have no clue of Gandhiji, feel free to use GOOGLE technology to educate to yourself. Of the thousand search results, 90% are bound to be relevant this time). Let me take this moment to introduce these three close friends of mine from a long list. (Guys, if you happen to read this post, Be happy; I am introducing y'all to the world!!)

K - 5 ' 11" tall, weight....? hmm.. lightweight, brainy but lazy, recharges sporadically (sometimes it feels like starting a 1940's cadillac with ignition trouble), at times he is the Bentley of 2025; a class apart.

Babu - Short for Anand.S (that's our code), 6 ' 2" (i always wondered if the air was cleaner 3 inches above me), weight...? (heavy weight category - 'those times'), a penchant for depicting time in various scales (2 min = 30 - 60 min on an average, hence a true 'hindustani').

ACP - not the ‘asst. commissioner of police’ (but short for Dhawal M, how he got this code is still a mystery but paparazzi has been hard at work for years), an average frame, height is not technically important as he walked with an inclination of 10 deg to his left, an efficient story teller, our common entertainment for the five years. His stories used to be so efficient, that he had answers to all the flaws and never left a trail to question. But then that’s why he had better TRP ratings than Bill Cosby.

Our common mission – submit a study; title we hadn’t figured out yet. Half way into it, and still not aware of the requisites we turned to our common entertainment source ‘ACP’ to break the shackles (we had relaxed for too long). As usual, he seemed to be inspired by a lizard on the wall. He started his story.
“I saw this man recently….”
I was quick to interject….”Where? In Ranip?” (That was his home town, and all stories had to have some relevance to his home town)
“Obviously” he replied nonchalantly.
He continued; “So, this guy; middle aged, runs a cycle repair shop. He was unique. He used to catch these house lizards by its tail and throw them….”(Now, his action was crystal clear – an open mouth and made a sound so as to indicate that he swallowed it).
As serious as his face and explanation was, we knew it was fake. So we asked “What do you mean? That’s not possible”.
“Why not, it’s simple”, was his reply.
“Sounds simple, but why on earth would one do that? We want to meet him to believe you.”
“Oh. He died yesterday” was the spontaneous reply. We knew that was coming.
K said “Oh. Shucks!! That must be a feat, one of its kind. To eat lizards live” Crafty ACP was quick to respond and twist the story “When did I say he ate them? He just tossed them over his shoulder, into the sack he was carrying”, and once again made this weird sound of swallowing.
Arguing on it was baseless. First, he killed the imaginary person and then twisted the story. No prints, No clues.

Babu was already asleep; he had the 3 o’clock sleep syndrome. I stood up to head out into the open and clear my head. I looked for my floaters. They were missing. It was obvious that only one person could have taken them. I shook him like a bag of roasted peanuts and screamed into his ears “Babu!!!! Where are my floaters”??
There could have been possible sound barriers as he barely squinted, with a dreamy set of eyes locked on a fan revolving in the anti clockwise direction.
His barely audible but sincere reply was “can’t you see them floating?” Mixed emotions and laughter echoed in the designers room.Its a wonder how even a 5% performing living machine can be creative. I guess thats why we are the crazy 'deZiners' who define and defy logic.

Submission Stories - Prologue

Irrespective of the importance of a submission, parties, movies, and Pavagadh were always on our list of priorities. (Stories related to 'Pavagadh', a mountain of histories & mysteries are on my blogging agenda as well; have patience!!) A submission in itself was an activity to celebrate. Individual or group works, we still loved to work in one room (of not, visit the rail way station at 2a.m/4a.m for the day to day up date). There were specific reasons for those:

1. Ability to look into another work for inspiration, especially critic’s comment helped in boosting one’s confidence
2. Power naps with personal security in the same room
3. Variety in snacks (even though dinner was taken at 9pm, our day began at 10pm)
4. ……………pervious ones are vital enough!!

Describing our work areas is not an easy task. We architects always made sure every item necessary for designing was located within arms reach, lest we had to move from our yoga postures.
1. Elephant size boards hung from the wall using rope tricks, and 0.5" thick nails.
2. A common board made of glass with a tube light beneath it (specifically used for tracing sheets for building construction classes, pointless to draft individually - a waste of time)
3. Mineral Water Bottles of brands such as Aquafina, Baiiley, Bisleri, Himalayan filled with boiled water from the neighbors or cooler (if in the hostel) scattered around, two per drafting board
4. Varieties of snacks; khakra, thepla, chewda and the like, in plastic containers of varying shapes and sizes
5. Mostly all drafting instruments were shared; except for the parallels (a contraption similar to t-square; possibly designed from an inspiration of physics – ‘use of pulleys’). It was usually assumed that all will not be working at the same time, which was true.

Section 'wise'...?

A Jury is often the highlight in the life of a student of Architecture. Its THE showcase of you talent....a test of one's mettle. Jury members often have an attitude problem, and some come with a downright egoistic attitude. So lesser the arguments, greater your chances of passing!. In my case, a jury was a 5 minute operation. Plans, Elevations, Sections lined like the bogies of a train. At times one above the other; especially if one tends to work in terms of KG/LBS of output. Here are a few excerpts from some of the juries, where there is a total disconnect between the student and the faculty. Consider it as short stories! :)

1. Its 8 am. Students, sheets, models cover every inch of space in the studio. Jury Time!
A five member panel of people aged between 40 and 60 enters the studio. If one is clever, the age itself should be a indication of what to do and what not to do. But first yearites and second yearites are amateurs. The energy peaks at the wrong time.

Designing a cow shed - (really, one would think; do you have to design one?, cows have that much of an aesthetic sense? Imagine a cow saying "steel window frames, thats my spot. I want my share of the vista"). Nevertheless, that was the design project for the first year studio. Believe me when i say it, 'architects are half mad'. A few interesting pieces:

Jury number 1: kartik, and the conversation flows. His design was spectacular. Followed francis d.ching's book and came up with a clear design. Clearly depicted plans, elevations and sections. One of the panel members, ekbote (aged 50) focussed his glasses on the section and kept scrutinizing the drawing. Clearly he was uncomfortable, and he had the habit of sitting on the edge of his chair in a slant fashion. Anyone could easily pull the chair for a good laugh. He walks up to the pinned up sheets. When they do that, your heat beats start to skip...It becomes a F1 race. He places his finger on exactly one location where an irregular figure is drawn and there are some crude lines which wasnt making sense from any angle. Also there seemed to be a few spots, which looked as though something was dropping. He turns to K, focusses his eyes and asks "what is this?" Now, thats a simple question.
K, is clearly flustered by the question. This is his first jury with an outside panel and simple minded. He replies, "Sir, thats a cow". Now every person in the room had become inquisitive. Ekbote asks "please explain, i cannot see the cow".
K explains, "Sir, i drew the cow in the plan first. And then i happened to draw the section line. unfortunately it went right through the cow's body. So, in the section i had to cut of his head. All that scribblings you see is what i have tried to depict of the inner parts of the cow."
That was a honest explanation, even though the whole class and most jury members burst into laughters. Ekbote asks again "what are those spots then?"
K once again provides a simple explanation. "Sir, since i cut the cows head, its obvious that blood will drop. So i have depicted that."

Jury Number 2: Ramya, petite and honest. She always used to come up with wierd ideas. But her design always seemed to have exorbitant flaws. Ekbote once again was the only soul in the jury panel who seemed to be interested in the designs. He happened to notice two levels in the design. So he asks, "why are there two levels in the section?". R, explains nonchalantly "Sir, I have provided my cow shed on the first floor". There was pindrop silence. Ekbote is perplexed like all others, "and how my dear, do the cows reach on top, is there a lift as well?"
R replies "Sir, i have provided a ramp. Lift would be costly".
At this point of time, it would not be wise to either ask a question or reply. :)

2. There are a few people who used to explain the whole design principle in single words, and to connect the words one had to follow the movement of the hand. So it was a very 'handy design'. (PJ i know!! I am a sincere JOKER.)
This was how mehtaji used to go about explaining his design. It was unique. In this case a museum was the project.
"Sir, this - entrance....people enter....walkway....indirect lighting.....glass panels......
Sir, this museum one....museum two....dome roof, lighting from top....shaded, pergolas....one cafeteria....guard room, services area.....exit". Close your eyes and if you could interpret that, you are a genius.

HI-N-GLISH....

I just sipped in a cup of ICED MOCHA. Hence the adrenaline rush to write in one more eventful piece. The gaps and memory slots in the grey cells just got filled with caffeine and a touch of chocolate. Having posted my first week encounters in architecture; i thought i must add the essence of HINGLISH; a talent i discovered in me.

A month into studies; me, pakiya (panjak) and arya puttar (hitarth) were lazing in the college canteen discussing on trivial issues....college canteen aesthetics, fibre glass roofing, stone platforms, concrete seatings....(one of the subjects in the first year was building materials.) Architecture college was in same campus as all other engineering fields. Just a few classrooms in one building topped with a few scattered concrete domes, brickwork and iron windows. Signature of heritage value was prominent all over, includind the 1940's name - Maharaja Sayajirao.

The Scene: a passive campus, an active canteen, a few dogs running around chasing squirrels, me and friends....We walked up to the counter to order for lunch. I still hadn't gotten into a groove of ordering food....'Thaali' - was the terminology used for a plate of lunch which had some wierd vegetable curry, four roti's dipped in flour (might as well have eaten flour), half burnt rice, yoghurt and sweet daal. (Gujarati's are supposedly sweet in nature; so i guess they have gotten into a habit of spreading that sweetness, including food).

My turn to order, hence with bursting confidence, i said "ONE KHAALI"...., pakiya and arya were laughing. So was the cashier. Oops... i realized that I had just messed up the letters TH with KH.....(Khaali by the way meant, Empty!) Luckily my skin was a little dark with all the pollution in the air, so the redness out of embarassment didn't show.

Stuffing ourselves in with the colorful and 'nutritious' food; we resumed our conversation, which had moved on to the gals in the class (very few, and height limited to 4.5 ft on an average !!)....The enthralling subject was broken by a few ridiculous looking dogs barking to make their presence felt and trying to prove a point to the squirrels on the tree, who managed to grab rice flakes from the plates. Thats treacherous!! (stealing under their very noses)

I was in the mood for using my recently gathered knowledge of HINDI. So i turned to pakiya and asked him "Kutta ped pe chadh-enge to gir-enge, nahin?" (what i meant to ask was, wont the dog fall if he tried to climb the tree). I thought it was another comedy routine, as both my friends were almost choked by laughing as rice and daal spilled from their mouth.

Now, the only mistake i made was with the use of 'enge', apart from the sentence construction as well. It so happened that i was referring to the people who should be respected like the elderly as 'woh' and friends as 'aap'...and the same usage flowed through with those dogs. Yes, i happened to treat the street dogs with utmost respect!!... I stuck to english for the rest of the week.

First Week in S.J Hall....

Drawing and a sense of art was in my veins for long; my uncle used to say that when i was a kid. I used to get the vibes (am not sure who send them as the frequency was untraceable), to get into automobile designing. You know; fun with cars!! :) But more so the streamlined bodies and curves the intricate architectural detailing attracted me.....(made of METAL, just so you dont get wierd ideas). Knowledge being limited of such a field, and having some interest in architecture; mind as it always does diverted itself.
So it was no longer an element that could fit into a 5 by 3 m box. My first step into architecture hence forth; i have no idea why i chose Gujarat of all places - maybe because it was a 'dry state'. Fitting into it, having grown up in a dry climate (muscat) should be a piece of cake rt?..... Yes it was! One hitch though was language! Forget about Gujarati, i could barely construct a sentence in hindi without mixing masculine and feminine words. Sure enough i was trained to answer the questions asked in the pointless school examinations. As easy as swallowing a whole melon.... The end results where evident in my report cards - barely made a B in Hindi. They were also evident on my red skin....played a lot of hide and seek with my mother. Those were the days.....
Now, back to the present (which is past). So I have entered college with a few bags,and a gandhian specs on a frame thin as a rake. All around me were people from different villages and cities in gujarat and they were speaking in an 'alien like language'. I think i had heard the same in 'E.T'.

If i had to come out of this alive in 5 years, there were two priorities -

1. Learn Hindi and
2. Learn Gujarati
What about Architecture?? nah...that already runs in my veins....

The very first day was highly interesting. My dad had already left before i even enrolled myself into a hostel. I guess he was confident in my abilities to converse and settle in a 'familiar' world!! Well if it weren't for that, i would not have stayed on. I knew exactly how the goat placed in a tyrannosaurus cage in 'Jurassic Park' felt.
Having done with all the formailities (which amounted to NONE - welcome to India), I sat on a bench. I was told by the warden to wait for a senior! A second guy with a clean shaven face, about my age joined me. He had this habit of twirling his hair on the right side of his head and pulling it down. I wasn't sure what he was trying, but it wasnt normal. I figured it would be best to start a conversation.
So I smiled and said "hi. My name is Nitin". He replied "Hitarth". Now, let me tell you i had no idea that the students lacked ability to communicate in English!. I looked around for a bit, in an attempt to familiarise with a dark and creepy alley, and an even more creepier people walking around half naked with a bottle or bucket of water in hand. The feel was overwhelming.... I could picture myself settling in over the next few years.
Trying to ignore the environment, i continued on with the conversation. "I am coming from muscat, I belong to kerala though.....blah blah blah...." It wasn't until after ten minutes that i realized that i had entered a one way street. After a few minutes he asked..."hindi??" I wasn't going to admit I didnt know. Used up every bit of my memory power to create the first sentence. Thereafter the words poured like rain....I could see he was chuckling to himself and saying "aa shu bole che....khabar nathi padti" (meaning - i dont understand one word of what he is saying). I received a confirmation letter from the brain, an approval of my priorities (Learn Gujarati).

A few minutes later, we were approached by a scary looking globular structured person, and another pleasant and athletic guy besides him. Myself and Hitarth were taken up to their rooms and made to feel comfortable. (No!! No!!....we didn't get a massage but the message was on the walls). "ENTER if you DARE, Leave if you MUST". Talk of psychological warfare....heh?. From the walls hung a few posters of celebrities (I will leave it at that), and some Formula 1 cars....a few models (eh...architectural models). Elephant size Drawing Boards hung from the wall without a support beneath them (I learnt that rope trick in quick time)....
In all, the room summed up the mentality of the people who lived in it.... Our ghostly looking hosts said "welcome to the abode of architecture".... Personally i would have preferred staying on the Alcatraz.
I was sure to have a nervous breakdown. Hitarth didnt seem too perturbed; he still continued twirling his hair. I had half a mind to tell him "dude, that is not going to straighten!!!" but whats the point, he wouldnt understand my HINGLISH.

It wasn't too long until we were alloted our separate rooms. A rusty lock and a half broken handle on a wooden door which could be broken by a Bruce Lee kick. First impression: an only illumination came from a window with holes in the net (open invitation for mosquitoes to party), 3 steel cots (how comforting), a wooden desk and chair (seemed like the last person who stayed here liked to puncture holes in it - stress relief perhaps), and a steel cupboard with a few dents (overall it was a perfect set for a crime scene investigator). After a few enquiries in hinglish, i got the directions for the place to buy a mattress and a few other essentials.

Once unpacked I couldn't wait to get into comfortable pyjama's and snore into oblivion. Sleeping off the mental trauma was the appropriate option. I had no idea that a second room mate would be joining me the very next day morning. I said to myself, "tomorrow would be a better day, it will all sink in". Morning came, and i woke up with a few knocks on the door. Still Half asleep, wrenched it open and i was greeted by a dishevelled character right out of Stephen King's thriller/horror novel. I couldn't ask for a more memorable beginning to the next five years.

The mess was a mess....At 8pm, with a few hundred rushing into the hallway i felt like a convict; only was not dressed in one. A week later i met with Hitarth and his room mate Pankaj, only then I came to know that they had figured me to have come from some village in rural part of India, (unknown to them) named 'muscat'. It was an herculean effort to describe that the location was outside India - ultimately introduced them to the 'Globe'.

In the years to come, Pankaj and Hitarth were my mentors. My two priorities were taken care of by the end of 2nd year, while i made my sincere effort to introduce them to 'spoken english'. The juries in architecture were a delight to watch; comedy at its best.

Oh, btw did i mention the name of the hostel...? I guess not.... It was confusing as it is. There was a line of these concrete palaces... S.J, M.V, R.T....an abode for a few thousands. 130 sq ft of space shared with two others was my kingdom in S.J Hall for the next 3 years. Oh Heck! I figured I might as well enjoy the moments - once in a life time, and i will make sure it is.

Welcome Address.....

Fellow Bloggers; this is my second blog page! While writing the first one on radical events or what results out of expansion of the nerve muscles beyong the yield point; i have been thinking repeatedly on reinterpreting the stories in architecture and beyond. It is one thing to write about events you have not been a part of, but it becomes totally a different scenario to describe 'a story'. Some of these stories are as they happened (maybe a little twisted to create an interest in the readers - i.e 'U') ; but some are fictitious. I dont think I need to add a disclaimer...Do I? Most characters as depicted in the forthcoming posts are my friends....and these are hence my memories of a life time...to date. Hence there is no particular sequence to the events. So dont bother to connect the dots :)

I hope y'all (texan style) enjoy reading it. Feel free to make comments....

Cheers!!